Total Drama Phonebook
by CanzetYote
Summary: 26 original characters with names from A to Z arrive of Total Drama Island. My following the trend of Total Drama Alphabet/Letterz/Letterama/Dictionary. Rated M for the J guy's stereotype.


**NOTE:** I_ was inspired to try my hand at the whole Total Drama Alphabet-Dictionary-ABC type of thing. I couldn't think of a good name for my own since so many were taken so I'm gonna call this one Total Drama Phonebook. Stupid name, I know but it kinda makes sense. Anyway, there are 26 different OCs in this like all the Total Drama Alphabet type stories. Also, Jonah's character is the reason this story is M rated. I doubt I'll write many chapters for this story til I'm done with Fire And Ice, though. Anyway, onto the story..._

Chris stood on the docks on Total Drama Island, "Hello, viewers and welcome to a whole brand new season of Total Drama. We've had many different campers through the years but this is a brand new cast who will bring about all kinds of crazy. What will happen? What kind of danger awaits the campers on the island? Find out now on Total. Drama. Phonebook!"

*I wanna be famous theme song*

Chris stood on the docks and gazed out into the horizon as the first boat pulled up on the docks. On the boat stood a brunette girl with a mouse ears headband, green eyes and a blue dress with a picture of a block of cheese on it. She appeared to be crouched over. Chris greeted her with a smile, "Hortense, welcome to the island."

"Got any cheese here? Squeak squeak! I'm a little mousey and I really love cheese!" Hortense replied as she got off the boat.

Chris shook his head, "Sorry, Hortense. I'm all fresh out of cheese."

The mouse girl sadly walked to the other end of the dock and a second boat pulled up. On it sat a paraplegic white male teen with black hair, blue eyes, glasses and a sharp dressed suit with a bowtie. He clicked a button on his wheelchair and suddenly, helicopter blades popped out of it and he hovered over to the docks. "Xachary, welcome to the island."

Xachary spoke through a speech generated device much like Stephen Hawking, "Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Chris Maclean. I may be paralyzed but I still got my intelligence and strategy on my side. I am here to win and play the game like chess."

Hortense giggled a little, "I like cheese better than chess, it's tastier and has more E's in it. Squeak squeak."

Xachary hovered over to the other end of the dock and a 3rd boat pulled up. On it stood an athletically built male teen in a grey and red biker outfit and a motorcycle helmet. He was on a dirt bike and revved it up. Instantly, he drove the bike off the boat, soared through the air and landed on the docks. Chris just smiled at him, "Nice landing there, Lenny!"

The teen took off his helmet to reveal he was caucasian with brown hair and eyes, "Where are all the press and adoring fans at?"

"Here we are. Squeak squeak!" Hortense greeted Lenny happily.

Lenny smiled at the two, "I'm the leader of a dirt bike club. And is this club, I have three simple rules. Rule 1, have fun. Rule 2, be cool. Rule 3, trust Lenny."

Hortense smiled, "Squeak squeak. He seems pretty cool."

"We'll see how far he makes it." Xachary droned skeptically through his SGD.

Lenny frowned at Xachary's remark and walked to the end of the dock with his dirt bike.

"Everyone, give it up for Zandra!" Chris announced as a fourth boat pulled in. On it stood a caucasian girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, a midnight blue snuggie with yellow stars on it. In one hand she held a teddy bear and in the other she held a pillow. She looked like she was about to crash at any moment.

Zandra yawned and smiled, "Hi, everyone, my name is ZZZzzzzzzzzz" The second she stepped off the boat she fell asleep on the dock.

Lenny blinked in confusion, "Maybe all she needs is coffee?"

Instantly, Zandra yawned, woke up, walked to the other side of the dock and fell asleep again.

A fifth boat pulled up and on it stood an African Canadian teen with a muscular build. He was wearing a red and white football jersey and a football helmet as was carrying a football in his hand. He waved happily to the other campers, "Hi there, my name be DaeShawn and I sure be loving myself some football. Go long, everyone!"

DaeShawn chuckled the football and Lenny caught it, "Nice throw, man! So what position do you play?"

DaeShawn chuckled, "I be playing the quarterback, yo. It be so much fun but I also like throwing and kicking, too. I get bad grades in math, science and english but I be a great ballplayer, yo."

"Hmmmm. A mindless jock. The perfect pawn." Xachary drowned through his SGD.

DaeShawn joined the 4 at the dock and boat number six pulled up. On it stood a teen girl with a pink dress, red jacket, brown boots, brown hair with a braided ponytail and green eyes. Chris smiled at her, "Aeris Gainsborough, or shall I say Klarissa. Welcome!"

Klarissa got off the boat and pulled some flowers from her pocket, handing them to Xachary and DaeShawn, "Hello, everyone. I sure hope you like flowers."

Hortense sniffled a bit, "Sorry, but I've got allergies. Got any cheese. Squeak squeak?"

Klarissa shook her head, "Sorry but I don't. I wonder if there is a quiet spot on this island where I can listen to the voice of the planet."

Lenny chuckled a bit, "Nice try finding that spot. Drama will be everywhere here."

Klarissa just shrugged and boat number 7 pulled up, "A is for Anorexic Alexis, everyone!" Chris announced. On the boat stood an African Canadian female teen who was so skinny she almost looked like an underfed skeleton. She wore a yellow shirt with hot pink letters spelling out SUPERMODEL on it and skinny jeans with sandals. The girl folded her arms and glared at Chris, "I'm bulimic, not anorexic. There is a HUGE difference!"

Alexis walked up to the teens and stood next to Klarissa, "Got any food on you? I really need to binge eat and vomit. It's the only way to become a supermodel."

Klarissa shook her head, "Sorry, but I have no food, only flowers."

Alexis shrugged, "It'll have to do."

The bulimic teen snatched the flower from Klarissa's hand and ate it messily. "She has issues." Xachary droned dryly with his SGD.

The 8th boat pulled in and on it stood a male teen with blonde hair and blue eyes that were wet from crying. He wore a blue shirt with a sleeveless khaki vest and jean shorts with white shoes and he was holding a box of tissues and a large suitcase packed with bottles of water. He choked back a sob and a few tears trailed down his cheeks. "Everyone, say hello to Spencer!" Chris announced as the tearful teen got off the boat.

Klarissa blinked, "What's wrong, why are you crying?"

"My tear ducts are broken so I'm always crying like this. Happy, sad, angry, neutral, I always cry no matter what mood I'm in. I dehydrate easily so I have to carry a bunch of bottled water with me." Spencer sniffled as a couple hot tears dripped off his nose and onto the dock.

Hortense walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder, "It's hard to picture someone with such beautiful blue eyes crying all the time. Squeak squeak."

Spencer blushed and rubbed his tearful eyes as he sniffled, "Thanks."

Hortense gave Spencer a quick hug and DaeShawn blinked, "You sure some fresh air and sports could help you out, yo? I mean, I be playing football and I really healthy, yo."

Spencer shook his head and sniffled, "Sorry, I'm more of an academic person. I'm a straight A student but I'm pretty bad at sports because my tears always fog up my vision when I try to play."

Spencer joined them at the docks and a 9th boat pulled up. On it stood an Asian girl with a pink streak in her hair wearing a teal green tank top with a purple skull on crossbones on it and a brown leather skirt. She had a cigar hanging out of her mouth and she took it out to speak, "Total Drama Island, the perfect place for me to spread my pollution."

She got off the boat and threw the cigar into the water as Chris greeted her, "Everyone, say hello to Captain Planet's newest arch nemesis, Olivia!"

Olivia marched down the dock and noticed Spencer blowing his nose on a tissue. Instantly, she grabbed the used kleenex away from him and threw it in the water, "Just one small step to a more polluted world. When I'm finished, the air of this camp will be black and the water full of motor oil."

Klarissa glared at Olivia, "Pollution? But that would make the planet sick and flowers wouldn't grow."

"Fuck you, you treehugger hippie. Nature sucks, ESPECIALLY flowers. If it were up to me, the world would be full of smog and toxic waste!" Olivia replied. Klarissa bit her lip and tears formed in her eyes.

"And shorter life spans." Xachary droned snarkily through his SGD.

Olivia ignored Xachary's smart remark as a loud yodel filled the air, "YODEL-LAY-HEE-HOO!" The 10th boat pulled up and on it stood a blonde haired blue eyes caucasian girl in a blue dress with an apron and wooden clogs, "Hello, everyone! My name is Yolanda and I come from Sveeden, ja! I am also a milkmaid and I'm part Dutch and German too, ja!"

Hortense smiled and waved at Yolanda, "Milk maid? Do you also make cheese, too? Cheese is dairy and dairy comes from cows. Squeak squeak. Us mice are really good friends with cows for that reason!"

Yolanda smiled at Hortense, "Of course I make cheese, ja. And we sell it with our milk to the market too, ja."

Lenny smiled, "A family business, kind of heartwarming. My dad runs a hardware store but I'm usually too busy biking to work at it."

Spencer sniffled and rubbed a tear from his eyes, "I sure wish I could cry milk, then I wouldn't have to go out and buy milk."

Yolanda smiled and joined the others at the dock. Boat number 11 pulled up and on it stood a white boy in a tie dye t-shirt and jean shorts and spiked up lime green hair with brown eyes. He smiled at the awaiting campers and he appeared to have his hand stuck down his shorts. "J is for Jonah." Chris announced as the boy hopped onto the dock.

Jonah ran up to Chris, "Hey Chris, do you know what time it is?"

Chris chuckled a bit, "Time to get a watch?"

Jonah shook his head and giggled, "No, silly. It's PENIS TIME!"

Instantly, the teen dropped his shorts down and began playing with his private parts much to the shock and horror of the 10 contestants at the dock as he sang, "Penis time, penis time. A really really great time. Morning, noon, night, rub it left to right. Penis time, penis time is my favorite time of day. I just love to rub my penis in each and every way!"

The campers just stared, completely speechless, Alexis had thrown up all over a still sleeping Zandra. Klarissa, Spencer, Lenny, Yolanda, Hortense and DaeShawn all glared at him in disgust. Olivia just burst out into a laughing fit, "Encore! Encore!"

Everyone stared at Olivia. Jonah shrugged and pulled his shorts back up and walked to the other end of the dock before shaving his hand down his shorts again.

The 12th boat pulled up and on it stood a male redhead teen with a backwards red baseball cap, a white shirt with a picture of a pizza slice on it, olive green shorts and black shoes. He looked a lot like Jimmy Z from Wild Kratts and he was carrying a pizza box. The boat pulled into the dock and he stepped off, "Anyone order a pizza, dudes?"

"Say hello to Mitch, everyone." Chris announced.

Instantly, Alexis ran up and opened Mitch's pizza box and started devouring the pizza and within seconds it was gone. The bulimic teen then threw up all over Mitch and he raised an eyebrow. Alexis giggled nervously, "Sorry, but I really gotta binge eat and throw up to become a beautiful supermodel."

Lenny folded his arms, "Not cool."

Hortense felt a tear roll down her face, "What a waste of good cheese. Squeak squeak."

Spencer shed a few tears of his own, "I never got to have any of it..."

Instantly, Mitch screamed, ran over to the other end of the dock and dove into the water to wash off the vomit. The 13th boat pulled up and on it stood a caucasian female teen with a blonde afro and brown eyes who wore a leopard print dress. She held a bottle of perfume and was squirting herself compulsively. "Meet Ingrid, everyone." Chris said with a clothespin on his nose.

The girl stepped off the boat and squirted some perfume on Chris, "I sure hope you enjoyed that. I call it Le Spray."

"I personally prefer to natural fragrance of flowers compared to cologne." Klarissa commented. It smells so much nicer.

Olivia rolled her eyes, "I don't and when the time comes, I'll tear down this island and build a strip mall with a large parking lot in its place to endorse her perfume."

"Yay! You care about my perfume!" Ingrid squealed as she tackled Olivia in a hug.

Olivia shoved her off, "Don't EVER touch me. Got it?"

"T is for Tundra!" The 14th boat pulled into the docks and on it stood a muscular polar bear with a long white snout, a green and blue striped scarf around his neck and some sort of electronic device on its right wrist.

DaeShawn dasped in shock, "Wow, dat be a panda bear, yo!"

"Polar bear." Spencer corrected DaeShawn.

Klarissa squealed with joy, "He's soooooo CUTE!"

"It is a polar bear, one of earth's apex predators. It probably wants to eat you for lunch." Xachary droned at Klarissa through his SGD.

Tundra burst out laughing with his own SGD which shockingly had a sultry adult woman's voice that sounded much like SIRI, "Eat you? Of course not. My motto is peace and harmony. I'm a pacifist despite being a polar bear. I guess you could say I'm a true gentle giant. If anyone needs a hug or a shoulder to cry on, I'm more than happy to lend one."

Jonah giggled, "You speak like a woman. Is it hard to play with yourself with those long claws of yours? Cause I play with my penis all day every day!"

Tundra blinked in confusion, "I may have a woman's voice in my system but biologically, I'm a male polar bear."

"Hooray, you have a penis you can play with!" Jonah cheered.

Tundra walked over to the docks and Olivia smirked at him, "Does it make you want to cry that your polar icecaps are melting cause of global warming? All that smog and pollution, serves mother nature right!"

Hortense punched Olivia in the back of the head, "Ignore her, she's being a bitch. Squeak squeak."

The 15th boat pulled up and on it stood a muscular white male with blonde hair and brown eyes. He was dressed up in a white tank top with a picture of a confederate flag on it. "Say hello to Earl, everyone." Chris announced.

Earl stepped off the boat, pulled a beer can out of his pocket and took a sip of it, "Boy oh boy, do I like shootin' cans."

"I sure do, too." Lenny smiled, "It sure is a lot of f-"

"Afri-cans, Mexi-can, Asia-cans." Earl smirked before turning to Alexis and DaeShawn, "Why you guys ain't be out pickin' cotton in the fields? Too good for a slave master, I reckon."

"That's pretty racist of you." Spencer sniffed as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Earl shrugged and walked up to DaeShawn, "Hey porch monkey, ain't ya gonna shine my shoes for me?" He then turned and faced Alexis, "How appropriate, a starvin African. No gazelle for ya to hunt on the Serengeti, I reckon?"

Mitch cracked his knuckles, "Will anyone stop me from punching this redneck's face in?"

Tundra nodded, "I will since I'm the peacekeeper here. Racism disgusts me but I won't maul him since violence is never the answer."

Earl joined the rest at the dock and turned to Olivia, "Hey there, ching chang chong. Wanna make some rice for me?"

Olivia glared at him, "Sure I will, after I'm done tearing down your house and putting up a parking lot over it."

The 16th boat pulled up as Chris announced, "U is for Uma, everyone!" On the boat stood a girl wearing a hooded grey robe who appeared to be levitating. Her skin was pale with and her eyes were completely pitch black with no white in them or pupils. She appeared to be speaking latin to herself in a deep, demonic voice. A large raincloud hovered over her head and she floated off the boat and up to Chris at breakneck speed. Inches away from the hosts's face, she let out a terrifying hiss and Chris suddenly wet his pants out of fear. She then turned to face the 15 other contestants with a horrifying death-glare before gently floating up the the group and returning to chanting latin in a demonic voice. No one spoke a single word, everyone was too frozen in horror.

"Right uh...well...our next contestant should lighten the mood a little, everyone welcome Bert!" Chris announced as boat number 17 pulled into the docks. On it stood a caucasian male teen with brown hair, brown eyes, a broken nose, a red sweater with a yellow letter B on the front of it, white shorts and black shoes.

Bert jumped off the boat and ran up to Chris, giving him a high five, "Bert Raccoon, ace camper. Reporting for duty!"

Mitch turned and faced Bert, "Are you by any chance a fan of the Raccoons?"

"Is Bert Raccoon a fan of The Raccoons? Of course he is! I even brought my mass stock of peanut butter with me on the island because no trip is complete without peanut butter!" Bert replied, "I wonder if we'll have a challenge where we have to stop Cyril Sneer or even a challenge where we find a story for the Evergreen Standard! Hey, do any of you like sports? Nothing quite beats the great outdoors!"

"I like to be playing football, yo." DaeShawn replied.

"I enjoy dirt bikes." Lenny replied.

"This is really great! I'm sure I'll make a lot of new friends here!" Bert replied as he joined the group.

"Milton Midas was ALWAYS the best character on that show. I laughed when he polluted that pond and Bentley cried like a sissy little liberal over it." Olivia smirked.

Bert spun around and glared at Olivia, "WHAT did you say?! Milton Midas was the WORST! He poisoned an entire fishing hole!"

Olivia just smirked, "Serves Mother Nature right. If Mother Nature really existed I'll call her a bitch to her face and cut down all her trees and pollute all her oceans and set up an urban metropolis filled with cars."

"You're disgusting." Bert crossed his arms, "I'll make sure Ralph writes a nasty article about you in the Evergreen Standard!"

"Like I really give a shit." Olivia replied with an amused look.

Bert just shook his fist at Olivia and stood next to Spencer, "What's wrong?"

Spencer wiped a few tears from his face, "Nothing...my tear ducts are kind of haywire so I'm always crying no matter how I feel."

"Gee, that must be pretty awful." Bert remarked, patting Spencer on the back.

The 18th boat pulled in and on it stood a Filipino male teen wearing a Rainbow Dash hoodie, brown pants and shoes that resembled Spike, "Say hello to the Brony, Nathaniel!" Chris announced.

The minute Nathaniel stepped off the boat, Earl pointed and laughed at him, "Hahaha, he's covered in rainbows. He must be the gay pride guy. I wonder if he speaks Queerican!"

Klarissa slapped Earl upside the head as Tundra put a paw over his face, "So much negativity..."

"Negativity exists in this world, deal with it." Xachary droned in response to Tundra.

Nathaniel sighed, "So, does anyone else here like Friendship Is Magic?"

Bert rubbed his chin, "I think Bentley watches it. What's it about?"

Nathaniel blinked a few times, "You've never even heard of My Little Pony?"

Bert shrugged, "The only cartoon I ever watch is The Raccoons. I sure wish Bert Raccoon was real so I could adventure and eat peanut butter with him."

Yokanda smiled at Nathaniel, "In Sveeden, ve have a show called My Little Moomoo: Milk Is Calcium. Ever heard of it, ja?"

Nathaniel shook his head, "Can't really say I have, no?"

Jonah smiled and walked up to Nathaniel, "How do the ponies play with their peepees?"

"It's called clopping." Nathaniel replied.

"Oh." Jonah giggled, "If I were a pony, I would clop a lot!"

Nathaniel joined the others at the dock and the 19th boat pulled in. On it stood a tall redhead girl with straight hair, pale skin, blue eyes and glasses. She wore a green dress with green elbow length opera gloves. In her hands, she held a hot pink book labelled Paige's Diary. The girl stepped off the boat and looked at the campers on the dock before speaking aloud to herself while writing in her journal, "Dear Diary, I am the 19th contestant to arrive. There are 26 letters in the alphabet which means that 7 more campers will arrive before the challenge starts. My competition looks pretty normal except for the polar bear, the milk maid and the guy playing with his private parts. I'm not sure what to make of them."

Mitch waved his hand, "Ummmm...hello? We can hear you speaking you know."

The girl blushed and closed her book, "Oh dear, was I speaking out loud to myself again? I'm really sorry. My name's Paige and I'm an aspiring journalist. I keep a diary to document my daily activities."

"Ah, so you're a journalist just like old Ralphie boy, eh?" Bert asked.

Paige blinked, "Who is Ralphie?"

"Ralph Raccoon of the Evergreen Standard, the best newspaper in all of Canada. He and Melissa are married and they let me stay in the Raccoondiminium. I do chores to pay rent there." Bert explained.

Paige blinked, "Why have I not heard of this Evergreen Standard?"

"Because it's from a CARTOON. It's not real!" Olivia replied.

Bert glared at Olivia and pouted a bit, "You just HAD to go and ruin the magic..."

Nathaniel smiled, "Sometimes I like to fantasize that Rainbow Dash is real so I could date her. She sure has a feisty spirit!"

Olivia just groaned, "I'm surrounded by LOSERS and HIPPIES!"

Paige just shrugged and joined them at the dock. The 20th boat pulled up and on it stood a hispanic male teen with glasses playing on a gameboy. "Everyone, welcome Ramon!" Suddenly, a more muscular caucasian male teen appeared on the boat as well. He was wearing a wife beater, jean pants and black shoes and his hair was blonde and his eyes were dark brown. The stronger man grabbed Ramon and in one sickening move, snapped his neck, instantly killing him much to everyone's horror. The muscular teen tossed the now dead one off the side of the boat and stepped off, "There is only room for ONE R teen and that is ME, Ronald! So where is she? Where is that fucking cunt whore of a lousy girlfriend of mine?! Has she arrived yet?!" Ronald grabbed Chris by the neck.

"Valerie...has not arrived yet. Ronald? Ummm...okay okay. We can work out the R spot for you seeing as you killed the original R contestant." Chris replied nervously.

Ronald let go of Chris and marched up to the other campers, "When that ungrateful little CUNT of a GIRLFRIEND comes. I will BEAT her into submission! How DARE she try to escape me by going onto a reality show! I will KILL her for it!"

"Why are you so angry at her?" Tundra asked calmly.

"SHUT UP, Klondike! No one asked YOU anything!" Ronald snapped, "You'd better keep that furry snout of yours shut if you DON'T want to be a bearskin rug!"

Mitch rolled his eyes, "Real smart, picking a fight with a polar bear."

Instantly, Ronald grabbed Mitch by the neck and squeezed his throat, "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Instantly, Uma zoomed up to Ronald's face, gazed at him with her pitch black eyes and hissed. Ronald yelped in terror and let go of Mitch. The domestic abuser curled into a fetal position and started whimpering.

Bert just chuckled in regards to Uma, "Remind me never to get on HER bad side!"

Boat number 21 pulled up and on it stood a big fat male Caucasian teen with black hair and glasses. He had a big white shirt with the words "NO MARY SUES" on it. He stepped off the boat and glared at the 20 campers, "What the fuck is this? A crappy OC convention? Where is the original TDI cast. I signed up to mingle with them. Not THESE losers!"

"Welcome to Total Drama Island, George." Chris announced.

"You're an OC yourself, you hypocrite." Xachary droned through his SGD.

George glared at him "Shut up, you inspirational disability Stephen Hawking Mary Sue! You're all a bunch of poorly written garbage and I can't wait to get the writer of the fanfic banned from Fanfiction dot net. I DON"T BELONG HERE, WHERE IS THE ORIGINAL CAST!?"

"Up your butt and around the corner." Mitch replied. Klarissa just giggled and George just glared at her, "YOU'RE the worst of the lot, you Aeris ripoff! I'm a much better writer than ANY of you combined! You should see how many reviews I get!"

Paige folded her arms, "You probably don't know the first thing about writing. I myself am a journalist."

George flipped off Paige, "Fuck off, you Mary Sue. Go die in a fire."

The 22nd boat pulled into the docks and on it stood a bald Caucasian teen girl wearing a karate go with a black belt. "W is for Wendi." Chris announced.

Hortense blinked a few times, "Why are you bald? Squeak squeak."

"Chemotherapy." Wendi replied nonchalantly, "I'm terminally ill with cancer but I won't let it drag me down. I have too much spirit for a hospital bed, I wanna live life to its fullest and do martial arts!"

George rolled his eyes, "What a poorly written OC. A cancer patient doing martial arts? Who on Earth writes this crap?!"

Instantly, Wendi performed a flying kick on George, sending him into the water. Tundra put his large paw on Wendi's shoulder, "Violence is never to answer."

Wendi chuckled a bit, "Sorry about that. I just hate being called a Mary Sue."

Spencer sobbed a little as tears ran down his nose. Wendi rolled her eyes, "Please don't pity me cause I'm going through chemotherapy."

Spencer sniffled a wiped a few tears from his nose, "Sorry, but I'm always crying. Broken tear ducts, you know."

Jonah was sticking his hands in his pants and playing with his you-know-what while giggling like an idiot. Wendi just blinked, "I'd...better not ask."

The 23rd boat pulled up and on it stood a Hispanic female teen who was wearing a white jacket and hot pink pants. Her hair was long and she appeared to be covered with bruises and scratches. She had the most horrified look on her face and was trembling. Chris greeted her as she stepped off, "Valerie, welc-"

In a flash, Ronald dashed up to her and grabbed her by her throat, shaking her violently, "BITCH! SLUT! SKANK! WHORE! CUNT! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE ME BY GOING ON SOME REALITY SHOW? Don't you KNOW that I LOVE you?! Why are you breaking MY heart like this? I AM YOUR MAN AND YOU ARE FAITHFUL TO ME AND ME ONLY! I've seen shows like this! You were gonna hook up with someone else? NOT GONNA HAPPEN! Not if I kill you first."

Ronald shoved Valerie to the ground and started bashing her head against the dock as hard as he could, attempting to beat her to death when suddenly, Tundra grabbed the domestic abuser and restrained him, "Call the police, Chris. This man is clearly too dangerous to compete."

Chris phoned the police and the 22 contestants watched in shock as the cops dragged a kicking and screaming Ronald off the dock and into the police boat. He had to be tazed and maced alike and a 24th boat pulled up and on it stood an African Canadian female teen wearing a green top hat, vest, a black Victorian style dress and goggles over her eyes. She had a gold cogwheel shaped pendant and had a walking cane in one had and a toolkit in the other. She blinked a few times at the spectacle with the police before steampunk style black girl hopped off the boat and jogged up to the other teens, "What just happened?"

"My boyfriend hit me...but I'll be fine." Valerie sniffled as tears streamed down her face.

The steampunk girl shook her head, "With injuries like that, I think you're best off avoiding him like the plague. I'm Cindy by the way."

"Valerie." The battered girl replied as she shook Cindy's hand.

George rolled his eyes, "Let me guess your stereotype: you're the steampunk girl, right?"

Cindy smiled and nodded, "Yep, I'm also a carpenter and I like to build things with my tools."

George just scoffed, "As far as I'm concerned, the only black girl that should be on TDI is LeShawna, not some lame OC."

Cindy rolled her eyes, "I have a feeling you won't last long."

George shrugged, "Hey, I outlasted the domestic abuser villain sue."

Cindy scratched her head, "Look, I'll introduce myself more later, this whole thing is awkward during the middle of an arrest."

Cindy joined the others at the dock and the 25th boat pulled up and on it stood a male in a loose pink blouse, cut off jean shorts, a blue bandana around his neck and sandals. He had blue eyes and blonde hair and he was snapping his fingers and he skipped off the boat and onto the dock and spoke in a heavy gay lisp, "Listen up, bitches and hot studs, Q is for Quinn. Call me Quinn The Queer and you die, okay honey?"

Mitch looked around at Yolanda and DaeShawn before turning back to Quinn, "Is it just me or will this season be super offensive with the stereotypes?"

Earl just chuckled at Quinn, "What a queer, stop speaking Queerican I can only understand American!"

Quinn ran up to Earl and slapped his lightly against his cheek, "You have NO style, you stupid straight bitch. I love men and I'm proud of it. I also love fashion!" Quinn turned around to face Ingrid, "Nice dress, sweetheart but lose the perfume."

Ingrid frowned, "But, I'm all about perfume."

"Not to my gay eyes, you aren't." Quinn replied, snapping his fingers in a Z formation.

"Gay eyes?"

Quinn spun around and faced Uma, "That grey hoodie is SO last season, you should brighten your wardrobe with some pastels."

Instantly, Uma turned and gazed at him with her pitch black eyes before snarling demonically in ancient Sumerian, causing the openly gay teen to flinch in shock.

The final boat pulled up and on it stood a female teen with tan skin, dark hair, heavy blue eyeshadow and what appeared to be a royal Egyptian dress. "Ferah, welcome to the island." Chris greeted her.

Ferah gazed upon the rest of the contestants with an air of snobbishness to her, "In Egypt, there are pyramids. Royalty gets to stay at the top of the pyramid and the servants on the bottom. All of you are on the bottom of the pyramid while I am on top. I expect all of you to know your place and address me as Queen Ferah of the Nile. When I get hot, you fan me and when I get thirsty, you fetch me drinks. I am of royal blood and expect to be treated no less. Is that clear?"

"Yes, you highness!" Klarissa replied sarcastically.

Cindy rolled her eyes, "You realize your human like everyone else here, you know."

"Not him." Ferah pointed Tundra out.

"Tundra's the exception." Spencer sniffled as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.

"It's true, I'm a specimen of science research." Tundra replied through his radio bracelet.

Ferah rolled her eyes, "Whatever, just treat me with respect and my ancestors won't unleash a plague of locusts on you."

Ferah joined the others at the docks and Chris smiled, "Well, looks like everyone's here. Since what happened on the original island, the docks might break if we take the promo picture. All of you, head on over to the grass and we can take the promo pic there."

All 25 campers except for Zandra who was fast asleep on the dock walked over to the grass. Tundra nudged the sleeping teen with his large snout, "Wake up, we're taking the picture."

Zandra yawned and stretched, "Oh, hi there polar bear, my name is Zzzzzzzzzz..." Instantly, she fell asleep again and Tundra scooped her up and carried her on his back to the grass area. The 25 teens struck a pose. Quinn made a limp-wristed gesture, George flipped off the camera, Jonah shoved his hands down his pants, Spencer was rubbing tears from his eyes and Zandra was fast asleep but everyone else posed fairly normally as the shot was taken. Chris smiled, "Chef will send each of you a copy when the film gets developed. Also, feel free to use the confessional to speak your mind."

**ALEXIS (CC):** I hate it when people call me anorexic Alexis. I am bulimic! Huge difference! *sigh* I'll NEVER be a pretty skinny supermodel.

**BERT (CC):** Believe it or not, I was actually born with the name Bert. I then discovered The Raccoons on Teletoon and Bert Raccoon became my hero. It feels SO great to share the same 4 letters in our names. I want to be JUST like Bert when I grow up. I try to make me best friend wear glasses and eat chocolate pudding and call himself Cedric. I have no idea why he refuses.

**CINDY (CC):** I really love the genre of steampunk. I hope we build an airship that runs on steam for a challenge. My tools would love that. Also, I LOOOOVE Treasure Planet. Best movie ever!

**DAESHAWN (CC):** Whatup, yo. I be playin football, yo. I sure hope I be makin many friends, yo.

**EARL (CC):** I'll sure gonna have a lotta fun makin those Afri-Cans mah slaves. *laughs like a hick* What a buncha cotton picking jiggaboos!

**FERAH (CC):** My team will be a pyramid and I will be the head of that pyramid. Anyone who says otherwise will suffer my royal family curse!

**GEORGE (CC):** This fanfic really sucks. Too many Mary Sues. I think I'll report it to the admins and get the writer of this fanfic banned.

**HORTENSE (CC):** Might as well go forage for some cheese. Squeak squeak. I think Spencer is kinda cute. I hope he likes mice.

**INGRID (CC):** *She is spraying herself all over with perfume* La la laaa...

**JONAH (CC):** Uh oh! Jone-uh's got a bone-uh! *long pause and giggles* PENIS TIME! PENIS TIME! PENIS TIME! *Plays with himself rapidly*

**KLARISSA (CC):** I wonder if there's a quiet spot where I can listen to the voice of the planet on this island. Olivia's behavior worries me.

**LENNY (CC):** I just prefer to live life in the fast lane and ride with the wind. That's not a crime now, is it?

**MITCH (CC):** My boss never pays me enough money. Being a pizza delivery boy kinda blows. If I win, I'll start my own pizza business.

**NATHANIEL (CC):** I wonder if there'll be a cosplay challenge where we all dress up as ponies. That would be awesome.

**OLIVIA (CC):** When I win, I will use the million to burn down the rainforest and cause the world's biggest oil spill. I hate Mother Nature. She can go die in a fire.

**PAIGE (CC):** I feel so stupid! I always talk aloud to myself while writing in my secret journal. I guess it helps me think a little better.

**QUINN (CC):** Everyone here has such GAUDY fashion sense! I guess I'll have to use my gay eyes to teach them the ways of their fashion faux pas.

**SPENCER (CC):** *sniffles and wipes his eyes as tears roll down his face* Everyone is trying to comfort me and hug me cause I'm always crying so much. Can't really blame them, though. As long as I keep a large supply of water to rehydrate myself, I think I'll be fine.

**TUNDRA (CC):** I hope I don't get voted out too early for being a science experiment polar bear. I guess as long as I play the peacekeeper and mediator role, I should be fine.

**UMA (CC):** *she is singing and swaying back and fourth creepily* Let meeeee innnnn yooour hoooooouse...Let meeeee uuuuuuuse yoooooour phoooooooone...*long pause before she hisses and lunges at the camera*

**VALERIE (CC):** Ronald really does love me, you know. He just has a hard way of showing it...ouch...

**WENDI (CC):** Cancer? Ha! I won't let something so trivial bring me down! I'm here to live life in the fresh air, not to be cramped in a hospital room!

**XACHARY (CC):** *speaking with his SGD* I don't need my body for challenges. All I need is my keen intellect, gadgets and strategy. I am not one to be underestimated.

**YOLANDA (CC):** Ja, I hope we have a cow milking challenge or a yodelling challenge. I excel at those two things, ja!

**ZANDRA (CC):** Zzzzzzzzz...*falls over, snoring*

"As you can see, we're quite far from the mainland of Total Drama. There is a cave with several tunnels connecting to the mainland. You will all split into groups of 8. Group 1 will be Alexis, Quinn and Uma. Group 2 will be Bert, Jonah, Klarissa and Yolanda. Group 3 will be Cindy, Tundra and Zandra. Group 4 will be DaeShawn, Paige and Xachary. Earl, George and Wendi, you 3 are group 5. Group 6 consists of Ferah, Mitch and Nathaniel. Group 7 is al all girls group: Hortense, Ingrid and Olivia. And finally, Lenny, Spencer and Valerie are Group 8. Any questions?" Chris asked.

George raised his hand, "Why can't I team up with an original TDI cast member instead of a stupid Mary Sue?"

"Because this is a brand new season." Chris explained, "Also, the first two teams over the finish line win immunity. One camper will be eliminated before the 3 teams of 8 form. Now, go go go!"

The 25 campers all dashed to the entrance of the cave.

Stereotypes:

A - Alexis, the Bulimic Girl  
>B - Bert, the Bert Raccoon Wannabe<br>C - Cindy, the Steampunk Carpenter  
>D - DaeShawn, the Goofy Football Player<br>E - Earl, the Racist Hick  
>F - Ferah, the Royal Snob<br>G - George, the OC Hater  
>H - Hortense, the Mouse Girl<br>I - Ingrid, the Perfume Enthusiast  
>J - Jonah, the Guy Who Plays With Himself<br>K - Klarissa, the Slum-Dwelling Flower Girl  
>L - Lenny, the Motorcycle Racing Punk<br>M - Mitch, the Moody Pizza Delivery Boy  
>N - Nathaniel, the Brony<br>O - Olivia, the Polluter  
>P - Paige, the Socially Awkward Journalist<br>Q - Quinn, the Flamboyant Fashion Designer  
>R - Ronald, the Abusive Boyfriend (Ramon, the Retro Gamer was brutally killed by him)<br>S - Spencer, the Uncontrollable Crier  
>T - Tundra, the Pacifist Polar Bear<br>U - Uma, the BEK (Black-Eyed Kid)  
>V - Valerie, the Abused Girlfriend<br>W - Wendi, the Tomboyish Cancer Patient  
>X - Xachary, the Paraplegic Genius<br>Y - Yolanda, the Milk Maid  
>Z - Zandra, the Extreme Narcoleptic<p>

**Eliminated so far:** Ronald

**NOTE:** _So, what do you think? I doubt I'll update this very often because I have barely ANY challenges figured out plus I'm trying to work on Fire And Ice. Tell me your thoughts on these OCs! Also, I based Lenny's character off Bix Wheelie from The Raccoons and Yolanda looks kinda like a teenage version of Kwebbel from Kabouter Plop (a show I discovered while watching Buffalax videos)._


End file.
